Goodbye to Toxic Relationships
Have you heard of the narcissist empath relationship? I’m sure you’ve heard of it. (If not, here you go.)
Hi, I’m Evelyn. I’m a trusting, see the best in people sensitive to the core empath. And I was abused by three narcissistic sociopaths this year. One was a friend; one was a coworker; one was a roommate. I cut two of these people out of my life, and one thankfully left of their own accord. I didn’t know any of these three people well at first (the friend was a loose acquaintance before coming into my life; the coworker was a stranger; the roommate was a stranger), but tried to see the best in them. And then they sucked my energy dry. All of them were toxic to my physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
The process of cutting these people out was arduous. I was scared, paranoid and emotional. After doing it, I am empowered, brave and happy. Here is the thing about toxic relationships: if you wait around to end them, your wellbeing is at stake. Eventually, your life is at stake. 2017 was the year I learned to be selfish so I could continue to live my best life.
The most recent experience was the roommate. I was warned by my landlord not to move in with this person, but even that situation was unclear (the roommate had described the landlord as untrustworthy and I thought he wanted us both out to raise the rent). Plus, I was about to be homeless because my previous landlord, who happened to be the best landlord I have ever had, decided to sell his house — a Toronto problem that has happened to me twice now. This new place was about to be the nicest place I have ever had. It had a pool. I was excited.
I went in with the best intentions when meeting perhaps the most manipulative person I have ever met. We had a lot in common. She was seemingly mature, and worked in the same industry as me. She opened up to me very fast. It started out okay (though on my second night, she came home drunk singing at 2 am, for hours, and would do this at least once a month). It was clear from my first reasonable suggestion (a simple solution to a dirty dishes problem) that I was living with an unreasonable person. Little did I know that this would lead to me feeling unsafe in my own home. Needless to say; it was bad.
I left my own home this past week because of a toxic roommate. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and I had panic attacks when coming into my home. Loved ones gave me advice and refuge and the help I needed to leave. A day after deciding to leave this toxic relationship, incredible things started happening. I got two interview offers at the exact places I’ve been wanting to work. I got a job that will allow me to save up for my own place. Strangers, family and friends gave me incredible support and renewed my faith in people. Good people from my past showed up at my favourite breweries and said hey. You’re not alone.
Toxic relationships can cloud your whole world and diminish your happiness for a long time. Mine were short but intense. I am glad I got out early, I am trusting of my bang-on intuition, and I’m grateful for the education that has prepared me to deal with these kinds of people from here on out. It will not happen again.
If you’re reading this and you have someone in your life who steals your joy, don’t wait to cut them out. Do it now.
